I Bet You Didn’t Think I Noticed
by Gabby
Summary: Sometimes, you don’t get a last kiss, and sometimes you never even get the first kiss. And sometimes, you just wish you could have said I love you. HP/SS


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Summary: Sometimes, you don't get a last kiss, and sometimes you never even get the first kiss. And sometimes, you just wish you could have said I love you. HP/SS  
  
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I Bet You Didn't Think I Noticed  
  
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It all started at the beginning of fifth year when you came back, pale as death and as skinny as a twig. That smile I had grown to hate was something that I had learned to miss. You're eyes were so dull. Lifeless, as if you had died when Diggeroy did. You wouldn't talk to Weasley or Granger, even though they had continuously stayed at your side. Nor would you talk to anyone else.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
I saw your increasingly better grades in Potions. All of your classes, in fact. It was all the Professors talked about in the weekly meetings. With the way you had been acting, they were afraid you'd become the next Dark Lord. I saw you standing outside one of those fateful nights that you were the discussion of the meeting, and I saw you run after hearing what they all thought. None of the other teachers noticed you.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
Did you realize that I was always there protecting you? Finding you on one of your late night walks, making sure you didn't put any harm to yourself? It was during one of those times I had caught you alone that you said you wouldn't go back to Gryfindor Tower. I took you to my chambers and you told me everything that you'd been bottling in. I was the one who hugged you when you cried. It was then I realized there was more to you then a stupid scar. The dark lines under your eyes had lightened considerably the next day.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
You had started talking again in 6th year, not much but some. You had filled out, but your eyes hadn't changed. It seemed you spent most of that year on your own. Even Weasley and that Granger had disappeared from your side. It was in this year you continuously found your way to my room for idle chit chat. It came to a point were I would tell you my password ahead of time, just so you would have access to my rooms. When ever you passed me in the halls, you would always give me a smile. I was the only one you would ever smile at.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
You were late to Potions once, and I yelled at you. I saw how you recoiled. You seemed so hurt by my words. I called you after class about your essay. There hadn't been anything wrong with it, but I needed to make sure you were okay. Instead of telling you about your essay, I took 10 points for being late. You smiled, and left. I knew you had caught my mistake. You talked more at lunch then you had since 4th year.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
I knew you were staring at me in 7th year. I asked myself why, thousands of times, but I never got a reply. I had only looked back at you once, and when I did you'd turned your head and blush. Did you have a crush on me? It seemed foolish, but with the way you were smiling at me it seemed so.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
I never got the chance to find out about the crush, because on October 31st, Voldemort attacked. The deatheaters took most the students as hostages and all of the teachers, in turn for you. Albus' had warned you to stay in a protected room. But, being your usual self you ran out into danger. I knew you would, you had been doing for all of your years at Hogwarts. You were too noble to let a person die on your own hand.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
When Voldemort was right about to kill you I pushed you down out of harms way. You looked up at me and smiled. For the first time, I smiled back. There was more in those smiles then what reached the eye. But you and I understood. I would have kissed you if it hadn't meant I thought you probably wouldn't survive this time. I saw the fear in your eyes, and I knew that you thought you were going to die, too.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
Then, you faced Voldemort, and said the killing curse. I saw the Green light come from your wand. I saw Voldemort say Avada Kevarada. I watched the lights speed toward each other. But, you couldn't stand to see it so you looked at me instead.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
When your curse hit Voldemort, it exploded. I was flown back into the wall. The other deatheaters died instantly, along with Voldemort. I limped over to you, having hurt my leg against the wall. As I fell to my knees beside you, I realized you had tears in your eyes. I knew you were dying.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
You asked me if the hostages were okay, and I nodded, taking you in my arms. You smiled and said that was good. You said to tell everyone that it would be okay. I knew it wouldn't be. What was okay without the Boy Who Lived? I prayed you would live to tell them goodbye. But, the combination of the energy leaving you and hitting your head against the wall was too much for you, and you passed out. You never asked me if I was okay.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
I carried you back out of the Great Hall. The hostages had been released when you had entered the room. I didn't look at their faces when I put you down on the Hospital table. I told them you hadn't died yet. You had entered a coma, and everyone knew you'd never wake up again. I knew somewhere in your heart you were happy to die, happy to get rid of all life's unfairness and cruelty. A hint of a smile was on your face, bare enough to look expressionless, but I knew the difference.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
It was a day after that that I realized I missed you. I missed the smiles you saved for me, the way you would look at me. The way you always seemed to know what you were talking about. I missed the way you always ran into me on purpose. I had fallen in love with you through these years, and I knew you had too.  
  
I bet you didn't think I noticed.  
  
And now as I look down at your gravestone, I realize that it's too late. I may love you, it may have turned out to be something good, but you had died. You had bloody died and I never got to hold you until you fell asleep. We hadn't had our first kiss. I never even had a chance to say I love you. And now, as tears fall down my face, I throw a rose down beside your grave. I will never forget you, nor will I ever let my mask slip again. You took my heart when you died, Potter, and it is now forever with you. I knew I loved you, now. But it was too late. You had died, and now I was left alone in this world.  
  
I don't think you noticed at all.  
  
~The end~  
  
~Gabby. 


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